Thor is a Lady! Let’s Complain About It!
Marvel has announced that Thor is now going to be a lady.
No no, hold on. Not that Thor. That’s still Chris Hemsworth. Let’s not get crazy. They’re just making the Thor of the comic books. You remember, right? Those colorful little picture filled things made of mashed trees? They’re changing that one into a lady person.
While the cynic in me expects that this is just a marketing decision, I am hopeful that it was spurred by a writer presenting a story so compelling that they couldn’t turn it down.
They say the change is permanent. I doubt that. Nothing is permanent in Marvel. Regardless, they have succeeded in making me curious as to what they’re going to do with her.
That has been discussed by others all over the internet, and it’s not my forte anyway. I complain about lady armor. So I will fulfill my role and talk about her costume.
There are really only two images floating around of the redesign:
Let’s start with that hat. The headpiece seems to fall somewhere between a conical helm and a basinet style helmet. That’s fine, I guess. Not exactly historical viking wear, but not terribly far off and one would hope that the Asgardians have had time to make some developments. However, the visor seems formed to her face, and also like it has sunglass lenses. Helmets really need a bit of padding between the metal and the head to help distribute the force of blows and lengthen the transfer of energy. With the metal right up against the nose and cheekbones, they’re going to shatter on the first solid hit, and those lenses are going to fog up something awful. But she’s a god, so whatever.
Moving down a bit, she has a gorget, a neck guard. Good on her. Those things are absolute essentials in any kind of swordplay. It’s not the most comfortable looking thing, and maaaaybe it will deflect blows directly into her unprotected jaw, but still, they’re so rare in costume design that even a slightly wonky one is nice to see.
Commenting too much on the boobplate seems like beating a dead horse. So instead I will wonder here, why it ends at her xiphoid process. There are some rather important and fairly squishy bits that fall between her breast armor and her belt that seem pointedly exposed, but, you know, god.
On to that belt. It looks like a big, sturdy, leather belt. That’s decent armor. Harden that thing up and it will take a solid beating. The three metal circles are a bit of a mystery to me, though. Perhaps she is very protective of her uterus and ovaries. Gods, weird people, am I right?
The arm brace seems a slight bit odd. It could be used as a rudimentary shield, certainly Wonder Woman is able to engage such armor to great effect, but I’m not sure why it needs to be articulated. Forearms don’t bend much, and the lames are applied in such a way as to not make the wrist any more flexible.
I am, I admit, splitting hairs. Overall this is an improvement over most comic book costumes for any gender, and a big step in the right direction for female representation. She’s well muscled, and basically fully clothed, barring a tiny and inexplicable section of midriff. She is not needlessly exposing cleavage, gets to wear full leggings along with a skirt of sorts, and from what I can tell, no stilettos. She looks much more superhero than lingerie model, which is good to see in a comic book.
In any case, I’m curious to see what comes of the new Thor. Will she live up to her potential? Will she revert to manliness in under a year? Will someone find a way to harness the wails of despair from die-hard comic fans who fear change for fuel to power our cities? Only time will tell.
Then again, Thor was once a frog.
Adventure Time actually had fun with the fact that women’s armor is always so fanservicey. Finn finds this armor that has all these powers and…won’t wear it because it’s fanservicey and meant for girls.