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Holes in Humanity


This weekend, Cards Against Humanity has launched another Black Friday campaign. This year, if you give them money, they’ll dig a hole. That’s it.

So far they’re over eighty thousand dollars.

That’s a lot of money to throw into a hole. As an idea, it’s kind of funny. When it passed ten thousand dollars, I started to get annoyed. This comedy hole was turning into a literal money pit. After it cleared twenty, I started to get heartpoundingly angry. I began to talk in rhyme. I tried to stare holes in things. Now my state can only be described as super-saiyan furious.

Normally, I’d be chill. It’s just a stupid stunt. But not today. Not when the US Army is announcing its intent to close Standing Rock by force “to protect the general public from the violent confrontation”. Not when some of the last hospitals in Aleppo are being bombed flat. Not when Texas legislators just introduced a bill that would require teachers to out an LGBT student who confided in them if a parent inquires. Not when there’s so much obvious need. Not when it has never been clearer this century that we stand on the precipice of a dark and awful future.

I get it. Fuck consumerism. Let dark cynicism be loosed upon the world, regardless of what rough beast slouches toward Bethlehem to be born. But it isn’t the time for cynicism. It’s time for action.

If you’re thinking about throwing money into a hole, consider throwing it into one of these places instead:

And yeah CAH might donate the money. But that’s their decision. Whether or not it goes in the hole is yours.

Make it count.


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