Better Off Dead

Seeing as how yet another rapture has passed without Jesus “returning,” I’m beginning to think perhaps we’re looking for the wrong prophet. So I’ve decided to start worshiping one of the prophets who came “before” him, or Joe Pesci, I haven’t decided yet.

Better Off Dead

I have seen the error of my ways,
I am now a believer,
following he who claims to be
the way and the light,
born of a virgin
in the last days of December,
he who so loved the world
that he sacrificed himself,
if only temporarily,
on our behalf.
Yes, I am now a worshiper of Horus,
oh wait, my mistake,
I meant,
or Mithras,
because the story of Jesus,
the situation behind his conception,
and the celebrated time of his birth,
have been told many times
throughout history,
but you probably don’t believe
in any of those prophets,
because they have faded away into anonymity,
despite their worshipers
being just as arrogant as Christians,
cocksure that their gods
were the real ones with all evidence
based solely on tradition, just like Christians.
The reason Christianity spread
through the western world
was due to Constantine’s conversion,
and subsequent conquering
of other pagan civilizations,
while continuing the Roman tradition
of substituting pagan reasons for celebration,
with Roman Christian ones.
Just look up the history of Oestre, or Christmas,
or Ash Wednesday,
it’s not that Christianity is any more true
than the belief in Greek or Roman gods,
or Zororastrianism, or Hinduism, or Buddhism,
it’s that it’s believers had more military power,
truth is not bound by geography,
but if you look at a map of religious concentrations,
belief turns out to be.
Steven Weinberg said “with or without religion,
you would still have good people doing good things
and evil people doing evil things,
but for good people to do evil things,
that takes religion.”
The argument that atrocities
done in the name of a religion
is based on the perversion of it’s beliefs
is fallacious, especially in the case of Christianity,
anyone who does so
is employing the no true Scotsman fallacy,
attempting to convince you
that these men did not know gods will,
but he does, when that cannot be true
for two reasons,
he has had no more interaction
with his god than those
who have committed the atrocities,
and in the case of Christianity
there are many examples in the bible
of god sanctioned massacres of enemies.
For instance in psalms chapter 137 verse 9,
when god says blessed is he who happily
dashes babies against the rocks,
is this a perversion of Christianity,
or in Joshua chapter 6 verses 1-24
when god entreats Joshua
to bring down the walls of Jericho,
to kill all the men and women of any age,
save the harlot Rahab and her house hold,
to burn the town, and kill the animals,
is this a perversion of Christianity,
Matthew chapter 10 verse 34
when Jesus says I did not come to bring peace,
but a sword, is this a perversion or Christianity,
Or in Luke chapter 14 verse 26
when Jesus says that anyone who comes to him
and does not hate father and mother,
wife and children, brother and sister, and also his own life
can not be a disciple of Christ,
consider the clergy and their scandals,
or the republicans and theirs,
or your fellow church goers and theirs,
perversion or Christianity?
And as far as the safety of belief,
Pascals wager says “isn’t it better
to believe in god and be wrong,
than not believe in god and be wrong,”
but in which god should I believe?
There are thousands of gods worshiped
around the world,
and thousands more worshiped
throughout history,
even the ten commandments leaves open
the possibility for the existence of other deities,
with the first commandment being,
thou shall have no OTHER GOD before me,
but I digress,
because common African American wisdom
tells me that it has to be the god of Christianity.
But with over 3000 splinters
which sect should I choose,
with each believing
that it alone has the correct
interpretations of the gospels,
Christopher Hitchens said
“the fact that all religions
can not be correct,
the only safe assumption
is that they must all be wrong,”
but perhaps you are not as familiar
with modern atheist philosophers as myself,
or do not hold them in such high regard,
so I will put it in the terms
of someone with whom
you will be more familiar,
Homer said, and that’s Simpson,
not the ancient Greek poet,
Homer said
“Suppose we’ve chosen the wrong god.
Every time we go to church
we’re just making him madder and madder.”
Have you even considered other religions,
studied their traditions,
and rationally and logically
dismissed their beliefs
based on reason?
Or have you simply
done what most people do,
accepted the religion of your parents
based on authority and tradition?
To quote Stephen Roberts,
“I contend that we are both atheists,
I simply take it one god further,
and when you understand
why you’ve dismissed all other gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.”

Victor Harris © 2011


Trained in the ways of critical thinking and skepticism at a young age by his mother, Victor then learned the ways of atheism during ten years of catholic schooling. He has been a Dj since 1996. a performance poet since 1999, a cheesecake baker and entrepreneur since 2003, and a race car driver since he figured out which pedal was the accelerator, which pedal was the brake and which pedal was the clutch, there is a rumor that there is a video of him doing these four pursuits at the same time...but it is as of yet unsubstantiated. He is also an avid Formula 1 fan, and would like to add: Go Lewis.

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  1. Worshiping Joe Pesci seems like a pretty good idea to me. He seems like a guy who can get things done *wink*

    Great poem. Well done.

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