Lab Tracks

Lab Track: What Does the Spleen Do?

What does the spleen do?

I don’t know either. I once knew a girl who had hers out, and as a result she said she couldn’t eat fatty foods without puking. I haven’t heard of that since, though, so maybe that’s bogus.

Apparently this is a common area of ignorance, so the Harvard Medical School and Harvard School of Dental Medicine class of 2016 put together a parody of “What Does the Fox Say?” to explore this mysterious subject. (Hint: you find out what the spleen does at the very very end).

Thanks to fellow Labber Beth, who suggested this one. Enjoy!

What Does the Spleen Do?
Harvard Medical School and Harvard School of Dental Medicine

Lungs go whoosh
Help you breathe
Kidneys filter, make your pee
Gut digests
All your food
And turns it into poo
The heart fills up
With lots of blood
Pumps it out like lub dub dub
But there’s one thing
That no one knows…
What Does the Spleen Do?

Gering-­ding-­Secret Male Uterus!
What the spleen do?
Wa­-pa-pa-pa-Magic Powers!
What the spleen do?
Possibly a backup tongue!
What the spleen do?
Joff­-tchoff-­tchoff-Vestigial Fin!
What does the spleen do?

Big blue veins
Lymphy nodes
Lots of blood
in lots of holes
Kind of shaped like Brazil
And your texture’s such a thrill
Your pulp is red
So beautiful
Like a kidney in disguise
If you can live
without your spleen
Can your spleen live without you-­ou-ou-­ou-­ou?
How could your spleen live without you-ou-ou-ou-­ou?
What does the spleen do?

Storage for your extra teeth!
What the spleen do?
Fraka-kaka-kaka-Making Babies!
Fraka-kaka-kaka-Babies Babies!
What the spleen do?
A-­hee-­ahee ha­hee!
A-­hee-­ahee ha­hee!
A-­hee-­ahee ha-Third eye!
What the spleen do?
What the spleen do?

The secret of the Spleen
Ancient mystery
Somewhere behind the stomach
I know you’re hiding
What is your role?
Will we ever know?
Will always be a mystery
What do you do?
You’re my guardian organ
Hiding in the peritoneum
What do you do?
Will we ever know?
I want to…
I want to…
I want to know!

Maybe it filters the blood?
Nah, man, that’s crazy

This has been another installment of Monday Lab Tracks. Send us your musical recommendations through our contact link at the top of the page, and tell us what you think of the song in the comments below!

Ashley Hamer

Ashley Hamer (aka Smashley) is a saxophonist and writer living in Chicago, where she performs regularly with the funk band FuzZz and jazz ensemble Big Band Boom. She also does standup comedy, sort of, sometimes. Her tenor saxophone's name is Ladybird.

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