I am seriously planning on taking over the world.
No, really.
We had a Mad Art Lab meeting on skype last night where we discussed 3D prototypes for our army. Maggie seems to think hydraulic unicorns are the way to go but I am really leaning towards low profile robots. Preferably robots of the nano-bot variety but I do enjoy larger models for when you really want to make an impact. If I could master a race of zombies, I might go in that direction but it just seems so messy with all the limbs falling off and the eating of brains. Too much clean-up. But I suppose I could make robots to clean up the mess the zombies make.
Then, when world domination is complete, we will live peacefully with our robot butlers who bring us tacos and margaritas… and we shall paint!
If you could design and create your very own army to take over the world what it be like?
Very clever of you. You thought you could trick me into revealing my plans for world domination.
Well, you’ll never get it out of me! Never! Muh-ha-ha-ha-ah!
Oh, OK. Anti-matter kittens. There I told you, and now you must die! Muh-ha-ha-ha- Ha-ha Ha-hah!!!11!!!1
Excuse me, I seem to have a positron hairball in my throat.
I see your kittens and raise you an ARMADA controlled by NUCLEAR PUPPIES!
It’s a project that is still in the works but I promise you it will be DESTRUCTIBLE!
wait… no… that’s not right….
Can your puppies shed annihilating fur all over peoples clothes, shoes and furniture? Imagine the pain and anguish mankind will suffer when they go get dressed for the party that their boss is having, and that smart outfit they were planning on wearing has been reduced to it’s constituent quantum particles and massive amounts of energy!
Not even lint rollers will save them!
Who would want to take over the world? It’d be too much work to take care of. Oh sure, it’d be fun at first. But eventually you’d get tired of cleaning up after it, and having to feed it and everything. Sooner or later you’d get sick of it and stop doing it. Probably sooner than later, too. Oh, I know you think that won’t happen, but trust me it will. And then when it does, who’s going to be stuck taking care of it, young lady? Me, that’s who. No, I’m sorry. Tell you what. If you save up your allowance money and do some chores, you could buy yourself an asteroid. Let’s see how you do with that, and if you prove that you can be responsible with that, maybe we can go look at some worlds. A nice dwarf planet, perhaps. I said “maybe”, mind you. No promises.
Damn. Um, I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but where’d the edit function go?
I hit send before I remembered to mention that they’d miss their boss’s party, and that promotion they were hoping for would go to George in accounting.
Y’know, thus causing their pain, anguish, and suffering and all that…
Yep, damn good evil plan…
Congratulations, breadbox. You just turned ol’ planet earth into the biggest known “pet rock”.
I will steal a page from Monty Python and go with killer bunnies. I mean look at how quickly regular rabbits took over Australia, imagine if they wanted to eat you…
Everyone knows unicorns are better than zombies. Because only virgins can see them. And everyone knows there’s no such thing as a virgin. Well. Except for the children. And we just have to make sure sure that Jenny McCarthy raises them so they won’t get vaccinated. Except that she’s probably not a virgin. CRAP.
@MiddleMan COTW (comment of the week) for: “Can your puppies shed annihilating fur all over peoples clothes, shoes and furniture? Imagine the pain and anguish mankind will suffer when they go get dressed for the party that their boss is having, and that smart outfit they were planning on wearing has been reduced to it’s constituent quantum particles and massive amounts of energy!
Not even lint rollers will save them!”
Oh, shucks! Thanks, Amy!
I’d use an army of insufferable sloganeering bumper stickers! “If you’re not totally for Natalie, you’re naturally not at all for me!”
If it worked for Nader, it can work for me!
Oh, wait…
…
Swarm of cybernetic death-ray wasps it is, then.
Why can’t we make zombie-robot nano-unicorns?
a.k.a Zombot Nancorns.
Anyone work in TV? Just realized that Zombot Nancorn needs to be an animated series.
Nancorn could also be marked as a small corn based snack treat. I imagine tiny kernels that are rainbow glazed.
Why have popcorn when you can have Nancorn!
The trouble with nancorns is they’d be too small to see.
You’d only be able to detect their presence by the glittery rainbow trails.
The problem with a manufactured army is the bloodshed necessary to gain and maintain control over the world. I’d rather do it memetically. Come up with something brilliant and turn everyone into my army.