Lab Track: Gonna Have a Problem

Today’s lab track features a hip-hop artist from my own fair city of Chicago. Gabe Caruso raps about a variety of topics, but many of them tend toward a criticism of religion. This one is no exception. It’s easy to write a song about atheism or skepticism and have it come off stilted — nobody ever said words like “falsifiable” were poetic — but Gabe is one of those rare few that puts it all together into music worth listening to.

He’s also a member of Grand Unified Music, an alliance of independent musicians who embrace science and cast aside what they call “fairy stories and other dogmatic conspiracy theories.” It’s an organization that’s completely new to me, for one, and I plan on wasting a good number of hours on that Facebook page. More artists should be aligning behind goals like this!

Without further ado, I give you Gonna Have a Problem. Check it out below the ad.

Gonna Have a Problem
Gabe Caruso

If you say that’s it’s ok ’cause it’s a claim that God has made, then
Yeah, we’re gonna have a problem
If you say you don’t need proof because God only speaks truth, then
Yeah, we’re gonna have a problem
If you say you need profound belief to understand morality
Yeah, we’re gonna have a problem
If you say that your religion is above criticism, then
Yeah, we’re gonna have a problem

Not a day goes by where I close my eyes
And I’m finished with my mission of exposing lies
‘Cause you know these guys, all their hopeless tries
To expose me as a phony, come on go and try
This is grand unified so between you and I
Zip it a minute while I will improve your mind
If what you’re bringing to the table isn’t to the date or able
To be duplicated, then it’s lacking proof and I
Will point out every flaw in the way that you’re thinking
Bible stories do not hold up in the age of reason
And to say that they hold truth is just blatant treason
To the scientists who try and keep the nation breathing

Honestly you gotta see hypocrisy in all their speech
“We’re promising these awesome things if you believe in God with me
And God can see these awful things that you do do, but pause a beat
Dont stop to think, just toss us green and God will treat your offering
With an entire eternity of worship in person”
If you don’t then your alternative is worse than a furnace
You got more tortures in store than the Spanish Inquisition
Who ironically chronicled all the pain that they’d given
In the name of the Lord they struck their judgment on heathens
Until their brothers were bloodied and studied dumb words to free them
But when your options are belief or the bottom of the sea
You can probably be confident that option isn’t free

But you got two options man, faith and reason
Not mutually exclusive but one begs the question
If you’re not allowed to criticize the things that you believe in
Then why is it you guys would pick that lame suggestion?
In the last thousand years look what science has brought us
All technology from polishing original thoughts, plus
Religion on the other hand claimed to help their brothers and
Then filled their graves in ill crusades til they had slain two hundred grand

So if it’s ok ’cause it’s a claim that God made, then
Yeah, we’re gonna have a problem
If you say you don’t need proof because God only speaks truth, then
Yeah, we’re gonna have a problem
If you say you need profound belief to understand morality
Yeah, we’re gonna have a problem
If you say that your religion is above criticism, then
Yeah, we’re gonna have a problem

It’s one thing to believe in an invisible friend
And if that’s all that you’re doing it’s your right to be wrong
But when you start pushing your stories on the children and imploring
That they be taught along facts then we’ll fight, man, it’s on
We are talking ’bout the future here
We need to fill the truth in here
It’s stupid to include it if the proof is too elusive, hear
The music that we’re spewing, clear the view that screw you truly, peer
In through the lens of truth and then you’ll soon depend on proof ’cause here
We’re asking for real evidence before it gets in heads, and yes
We want it verifiable so please don’t say it’s heaven sent

The reason that I grabbed the mic was to address the facts of life
So I don’t wanna hear the drama bout your thoughts on afterlife
If the only thing keeping you from murdering persons
Is an infernal eternity burning worshipless perps then
That concerns me ’cause sermons that have been curled in cursive
Are just like curses on twerps, man, they’re serving no purpose
There’s nothing honorable ’bout being scared into morality
If the reason that you’re being good’s to avoid demons how are we
Supposed to take you serious when you don’t even care
You’re just a sheep that’s doing good because your church got you scared
It’s manufactured compassion and as it happens I’m laughing
‘Cause all the actions amassing are done as backwards transactions

It’s not the end that I’m smashing it’s just the means that are sleazy
‘Cause you don’t have to be panicked to just start feeding the needy
But when you’re basing your morals upon some pages of quarrels
That promote slavery and hating peeps it’s making a portal
In which you’re forced to accept so many logical contradictions
That if you bet it all as truth you wouldn’t be left with a pot to piss in

This has been another installment of Monday Lab Tracks. Send us your musical recommendations through our contact link at the top of the page, and tell us what you think of the song in the comments below!