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Lab Track: A Biologist’s Mothers Day Song

In honor of Mothers Day yesterday, today’s lab track thanks mothers for all of the genetic gifts they’ve given us. You might recognize the artist — it’s none other than Adam Cole, the genius responsible for A Biologist’s St. Patrick’s Day Song. Hooray!

A Biologist’s Mother’s Day Song
Adam Cole

To make one me you just add
Half of mom and half of dad
That is what I once believed
But I know now that I was wrong
I got so much more from you mom
Than just half a set of genes
I got nutrients and transcription factors
and nearly everything that matters
plus my prenatal environment (transplacental inheritance)
mRNA, mitochondria,
That back in the day once belonged to ya (they’re cytoplasmic)
and I just want to thank you for supplying them

Just like two strands of DNA are spirally entwined
Your nature and your nurture are inspiringly combined
Scientists remind me and I find that it is true
Slightly more than half of everything I am is thanks to you

Mitochondria power my cells
and they have DNA as well
Transcription factors modulate transcription
And since they’re in the cytoplasm
The eggs the only one that has ’em
and sperm, I guess they don’t have much ambition

My sex determination gene means that I’m a guy
From you I got my X chromosome, from Dad I got my Y
X has over a thousand genes, Y has less than 92
That’s why more than half of everything I am is thanks to you

I roomed in your womb for nine whole months and never paid the rent
Your glucocorticoids shaped my hypothalmic development
I took in your blood and sucked it dry of every nutrient (it’s gross but true)
Sometimes I wonder where the time went (where did it go)
Sometimes I wonder where it went

I know I’ll never understand all you have done for me (I’m not that smart)
But since you paid for college I’ll get my B. S. degree (bachelor of science)
And I have learned it’s not BS but absolutely true
Slightly more than half of everything I am is thanks to you.

This has been another installment of Monday Lab Tracks. Send us your musical recommendations through our contact link at the top of the page, and tell us what you think of the song in the comments below!

Ashley Hamer

Ashley Hamer (aka Smashley) is a saxophonist and writer living in Chicago, where she performs regularly with the funk band FuzZz and jazz ensemble Big Band Boom. She also does standup comedy, sort of, sometimes. Her tenor saxophone's name is Ladybird.

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