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Art Inquisition: Plays Big, Packs Flat?

To much fanfare and nerd-squee, Apple (finally) announced their new toys yesterday. It just got real, folks. We’ve got a sale date for hardware, a download date for iOS 7, and I’m kinda sitting here going “eh.” Am I missing something? Did I miss the kool-aid handout day? Or do we all just care because we’re supposed to be paying attention?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of Apple. They have, for the most part, done right by me personally, and I’m selfish enough for that to hold a pretty high ranking in my list of “FSCK YEAH FILL-IN-THE-BLANK.” I like shiny things that function well and look good doing it, and thus far Apple has produced. Whereas I see some hardware manufacturers seem to try to make up for shortcomings with “Hey, you can make it whatever color you want! Or pattern! And lights! We have das blinkenlights!” Apple generally produces stuff I am not ashamed to admit that I occasionally covetously stroke in an entirely privileged Doctor Claw sort of way.

Okay, I do like das blinkenlights. (Check your fluid levels, folks.)

But I’m kinda unimpressed with this go-round from Cupertino. What have we here? Instead of a discounted previous version, we get a plastic phone in white and four of the most unattractive shades of their respectively assigned colors one can find outside of a Play-Doh tub. A “flat” interface that is yet full of gradients and may be the most truly, truly, truly outrageous item I’ve held in my hand since Lisa Frank was the most tubular Trapper Keeper to have. Three colors of metal in the higher-priced version… when most people are just gonna wrap it up in a cover anyway. A speedier, fancier chip (okay, yes, me likey). And a fingerprint scanner to permit you to access your personal reporting device, citizen. Woo hoo?

So what do you think? Do you like Apple’s new shinies? Or would you prefer to get it into your hot little hands before you make any judgements? Do you prefer to stay out of the fray with Android or Windows? Or do you want to throw DOWN with your (anticipated) KitKat, Windows 8 or Blackberry 10? Do you love the colors? The gradients? The elimination of skeuomorphism? And do I just need to get over my eye-rolling at the return of the 80s and just enjoy the hair bands coming out of the jukebox?

The ART Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Mad Art Lab community. It used to appear on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 3pm ET… maybe we’ll just try for Wednesdays this go ’round. Make with the comments!

Beth Voigt

Beth is a graphic designer in Chicago, a superhero in her own mind, and absolutely nothing on TV. She wrangles fonts professionally, pummels code amateurishly, and has been known to shove fire in her face for fun. Fond of volunteering, late-night bursts of productivity, and making snacks, she dislikes grocery shopping and sticky public transit and is only on her second smartphone. Her opinion is that you should try everything twice; if you don't like it, you were probably doing it wrong the first time around. If external links are your thing, here are links to Twitter and Instagram, and you can support her ongoing weirdness by buying her a coffee or six.

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