Lab Tracks

Lab Track: Foil

Now that all the Weird Al hysteria has died down (on the internet, but not in my heart), I wanted to feature one of the many amazing tracks that came out with the comedy musician’s fourteenth, and probably final, full album, which set a record as the first comedy album to debut at #1 on the Billboard charts. A parody of Lorde’s “Royals,” “Foil” starts out innocently enough, but then quickly gets into conspiracy theory territory. The video also features Patton Oswalt, Tom Lennon, and Robert Ben Garant, one of whom gives a little nod to famous crazy person David Icke at the end. Enjoy!

“Weird Al” Yankovic

I never seem to finish all my food
I always get a doggie bag from the waiter
So I just keep what’s still unchewed
And I take it home, save it for later

But then I deal with fungal rot, bacterial formation
Microbes, enzymes, mold and oxidation
I don’t care, I’ve got a secret trick up my sleeve
I never bother with baggies, glass jars, tupperware containers
Plastic cling wrap, really a no-brainer
I just like to keep all my flavors sealed in tight

With aluminum foil (foil)
Never settle for less
That kind of wrap is just the best
To keep your sandwich nice and fresh
Stick it in your cooler (cooler)
Eat it when you’re ready
Then maybe you’ll choose (you’ll choose, you’ll choose, you’ll choose)
A refreshing herbal tea

Oh, by the way, I’ve cracked the code
I’ve figured out these shadow organizations
And the illuminati know
That they’re finally primed for world domination

And soon you’ve got black helicopters comin’ ‘cross the border
Puppet masters for the New World Order
Be aware: there’s always someone that’s watching you
And still the government won’t admit they faked the whole moon landing
Thought control rays, psychotronic scanning
Don’t mind that, I’m protected cause I made this hat

From aluminum foil (foil)
Wear a hat that’s foil lined
In case an alien’s inclined
To probe your butt or read your mind
Looks a bit peculiar (‘culiar)
Seems a little crazy
But someday I’ll prove (I’ll prove, I’ll prove, I’ll prove)
There’s a big conspiracy

This has been another installment of Monday Lab Tracks. Send us your musical recommendations through our contact link at the top of the page, and tell us what you think of the song in the comments below!

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Ashley Hamer

Ashley Hamer

Ashley Hamer (aka Smashley) is a saxophonist and writer living in Chicago, where she performs regularly with the funk band FuzZz and jazz ensemble Big Band Boom. She also does standup comedy, sort of, sometimes. Her tenor saxophone's name is Ladybird.

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