I wish I could add a ton of hilarious commentary. But how do I top “I’m a writing panda. I eat words like bamboo.” HOW? I can’t.
What I can say is that whenever I’m like “Ugh. Marriage. How the hell have I been doing this for 10 years?” I see something like this and I’m like “OMG I LOVE MARRIAGE AND MONOGAMY AND EVERYTHING ABOUT NEVER DATING SWEET BABY JESUS I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN!” And I call my husband and lawyer and draw up contracts that say that if either one of us files for divorce, upon the dissolution of our marriage we are legally and immediately re-double-married.
I’m just grateful Backfat Variety can put my worst phobia into a catchy song.
Huge thanks to Sasha Pixlee who sent me this video… and immediately declared himself “a goddamn Sexual Tyrannosaurus—my hands and arms do nothing for you.”
In the end, I’m just going to declare today a great day for people who love to hate the world.