Drabble Lab Round 2: Truth
Drabble lab last week went phenomenally! There were so many great entries that I had a desperately hard time choosing a winner. You should definitely check out the whole thread, with all 14 drabbles (that’s only 1400 words; it won’t take you too long!). But in the meantime, here are runners up, a winner, and a new theme!
For those of you who don’t know what is going on: Drabble lab is a new feature. Every week, we’ll post a theme, and you’ll post stories of exactly 100 words in the comments. We pick a winner who gets illustrated the next week. It’s great fun!
Here are the runners up:
I loved the clever concept on this one by commenter Scurvygirl, the fact that the title is part of the piece and gives it more information, and the sheer cheekiness.
The clementine wasn’t growing moldy; it was cultivating mold. The fridge was a nurturing environment, but also stifling. The clementine knew if the light went off when the door was shut, but kept it secret. Later, it would know what happened in the office when night fell. It would enjoy being dumped from bin to bin to landfill. It would feel pressure, its sides splitting like bloated roadkill. It would know how that last gasp of air tasted as its juices dried up. It would observe landfill anatomy. Cultivate mold; that was step one in its five-year plan.”
When I’ve written drabbles, I rarely name characters — it’s often just too short to make it worthwhile. But this one, by Maggie, uses names to add a whole other dimension.
“Beginning to End
It wasn’t as if William didn’t like being alone. He did. But alone in a world full of people, not in the literal sense. Yet it seemed to him that — and everyone else thought he was bonkers, mind you — people around him were beginning to simply disappear. Wallace was fast approaching a world which would, based on his napkin math, soon be devoid of humans. How could this possibly escape the notice of the entire planet? Of all the people in the world, Arthur was the only one who noticed the terrifying plucking of Earth’s people from existence.”
A few commenters tied beginnings to endings, but this drabble, by breadbox, manages to do so with a lovely circularity.
“He gave his permission. The nurses began removing the tubes from his mother. Her eyes were open but impassive. They reminded him of the way she looked at his father’s funeral. If only she would cry or shout. Make some acknowledgement of this moment. But her face remained motionless, as it had one day decades ago when she had stared at a particular man across a crowded room, expressionless but meeting his gaze steadily, until finally he began walking towards her, and she watched him walking towards her, until he stood before her, at the spot where it all began.”
And finally, for the winner and the illustration! The winner, by beautifulmutant, is a very simple concept done very well. I absolutely adored the language in this one, and the imagery.
“She’s handsome and erudite and I am intimidated. We make small talk with large implications. I feel wound, taut, warm bellied, and I can’t sit still, now sprawling, now tucking limbs under me. She rolls up crisp sleeves to reveal blue ink, to calm clenching hands. When she sips her scotch and smiles, my breath catches. I can’t stop staring at her mouth, that mouth, a flower bud, pink petaled and perfect; a promise. Our future is laid bare and bright as pale skin in moonlight, but I don’t recognize it yet. She leans in, the whole universe is new.”
But seriously, I could have said similarly awesome things about most of the drabbles posted. You guys are impressive, and you should go read all of the entries!
For the next round, the theme will be truth.
Happy writing! I can’t wait to see what you guys come up with this time!