Lab Track: Oh Yeah?!

Lab Track: Oh Yeah?!

Today’s lab track was created by Marshall “Gripp” Gillson, a hip-hop artist recently featured on The Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe. The track also features the voice of none other than SGU darling Jay Novella. The song is essentially a primer on skepticism — it covers everything from homeopathy to conspiracy theories. Enjoy!

Oh Yeah?! (feat. Jay Novella)
Gripp

Evolution is a fact (oh yeah?!)
We can prove it in the lab (oh yeah?!)
Homeopathy isn’t real (oh yeah?!)
When it’s tested, it fails (oh yeah?!)
The crop circles are fake (oh yeah?!)
Man, we got it on tape (oh yeah?!)
Their arguments are lame (oh yeah?!)
All they ever have to say is (oh yeah?!)

I don’t think they’re listening
Just indulging their cognitive dissonance,
Superstition, all sorts of ridiculous implements
Like ghost hunters abusing their instruments
And acting like we’re dismissive
I’m pissed, man, I’m getting sick of this

Maybe first you should develop hypotheses
That you then test and try to falsify honestly
As for astrology, that’s hardly a threat
I can kill it with two words: Barnum Effect

That kind of thought process is hard to respect
You can’t spar with the best
You haven’t built your arsenal yet
Mark and forget
I will pummel ‘em, defenses, better double ‘em
I’ll make conspiracy theorists think I’m part of the cover-up

I can understand distrust of those who govern us
But all conspiracies are undercut when they start to bubble up
Watch them collapse slow, asshole
Gasp, but the men in black go carrying alien shrapnel
They’re just repeating themselves
I call them fractals
Tinfoil hats in the back of their packed shows
Shaking with paranoia, annoyed, but they’re putting up with it
Poppin’ placebo pills that are mislabeled as supplements

I could go on for days
There are too many to say
From alternative medicine to their free energy claims
For finding a believer who will listen is rare
All they ever say is (oh yeah?!)

Vaccine safety is fact (oh yeah?!)
We can prove it in the lab (oh yeah?!)
None of these psychics are real (oh yeah?!)
When they’re tested they fail (oh yeah?!)
The new world order is fake (oh yeah?!)
Someone would give it away (oh yeah?!)
Their arguments are lame (oh yeah?!)
All they ever have to say is (oh yeah?!)

I don’t have all the solutions
The truth is that I’m only human
Maybe there’s confusion about the hubris
My rule is no presuming, unassuming
If there’s no evidence, I sit it out
Give the benefit of the doubt
To accredit every belief
Try to hit it down
But they still got the burden of proof
So then they try to work an excuse
Into their research
And they are certain to lose
Only a worthier proof
Will level all to believe
It’s exhausting when they’re talking to me
With all the deceit
I’m like

The age of the earth is fact (oh yeah?!)
We can prove it in the lab (oh yeah?!)
Chiropractic isn’t real (oh yeah?!)
When it’s tested, it fails (oh yeah?!)
Claims of aliens are fake (oh yeah?!)
There isn’t one valid tape (oh yeah?!)
Their arguments are lame (oh yeah?!)
All they ever have to say is (oh yeah?!)

This has been another installment of Monday Lab Tracks. Send us your musical recommendations through our contact link at the top of the page, and tell us what you think of the song in the comments below!

Ashley Hamer (aka Smashley) lives in Chicago where she plays jazz saxophone, writes stuff, and does a lot of skeptickin'. She is currently recovering from being raised in the wooiest city in California and then living in Megachurch Texas, USA. Her tenor saxophone's name is Ladybird.
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